It's Only a Few Points Above a Nut Roll

I went to see Jacob's Ladder tonight at my favorite independent movie theater.  I was admittedly stoned, but of sound mind (I think).

The car was parked in a garage across the street from the theater, headlights responsibly turned off.

Theater in sight, I walk the 30 feet of concrete to the door, and I make my way briskly across the street (it's chilly, mind you).

PROBLEM:

I notice a glowing fun size Butterfinger lying directly in front of me on the ramp up to the theater.  I would swear on Carol (what I call my mother) that it was in pristine, unopened, edible condition.  My heart jumped.  I bent down and picked up what I thought would be a delicious pre-movie treat.

PROBLEM: I was not willing to wait until the movie to eat the candy.  

PROBLEM: I picked up candy from OFF OF THE GROUND and had every intention of devouring it.

PROBLEM: What I actually picked up was a piece of trash.  It was an EMPTY fun size Butterfinger wrapper.

PROBLEM: Because my body subsists mainly on sugar, part of me literally died. Additionally, my most significant dream of the day was crushed.
PROBLEM: I don't even really like Butterfingers. It's only a few points above a Nut Roll.
POSITIVE: There was no string attached to the wrapper.
QUESTION: What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?